Tenant Woes

My family's been a landlord for a long time. All I remember as a child growing up was how often I was told to be quiet. As a kid growing up, I never really cared much for the tenants, nor do I notice them much. As a young adult, they have become more and more apparent, with the continued translation process between them and my parents. Now, I have slowly transitioned into managing the "business". The tenants we had previously were amazing. My family and I loved them. They were very studious students who concentrated in their studies and hardly made any noise. Unfortunately, we just got ones this year and they are simply unbearable. Because of these tenants, they have altered my sleeping pattern and I am at their mercy. You see, they reside above me and we have an old house with lots of hardwood floors. So for those who understand houses, with the wood on old floors, it causes a lot of creaking sounds. Every footstep every conversation, it is heard. Even if a phone is set on vibrate on the desk, it can sound as if it was right next to me when it rings. Yes I have a horrible set up and a house the desperately needs a reno, but these tenants do not know how to be respectful of the noise they make. One tenant is a petite person, and yet when he/she walks, it sounds like a 200lb, overweight man. This tenant is very distinctive from the other one. I know which one is at home by the way they walk, and yet when I try to discern between their voices, it stumps me.

I'm at the point where I'm only getting an average of 7hrs every day because I have to wait until they settle down before I can sleep. Conveniently, my room is right above the kitchen; their hub. So I have to wait until they finish their dishes at 2am, or finish entertaining their guests with coffee and tea at 1am, before I am able to sleep. And it doesn't help me that I am a light sleeper and sensitive to sound and light. Ahh...life is so funny. For the past 3 months, I have developed a type of paranoia, or fear that if I try to sleep, someone from upstairs will go into the kitchen (the one with the lead feet) and wake me up. When I get woken up, my heart starts to race and become very angry because I'm worried that I won't be able to get back to sleep afterwards, plus I learned how important to have uninterrupted sleep.

The only break I get from these people is when they go home approx. bi-weekly for the weekend for 3 days and 4 nights. Other than that, I live with the fact that I am not to expect quality or quantity sleep. I have spoken to the one with the lead foot on one occasion when he/she woke me up at 1am. It wasn't a nice conversation, I tried to be nice, but it came out being very frustrated. And the stupid thing is, that they think that if they stop whatever they were doing for a couple of hours, then go back and finish what they've started doesn't wake us up again, is so immature. That's another thing, I don't like making assumptions that young people (under 20) do not have any respect for anyone, but these particular people have none. Either they have no respect for others, or just us. I don't know. All I know is that they will be with my family for another 6 months and this reality terrifies me.  I feel like my life is at a standstill because my work is at risk. I'm so tired most of the time and I'm afraid to take on a new job because my sleep is so unpredictable. In November, I've been sick 2 times every 2 weeks. I'm only beginning to get better. I honestly, believe that sleep has a part in my lowered immune system.

Someone told me, that you have to continue with what you normally do, can't let other people prevent you from going to work. Find solutions. And I will....it is a continuous process. And I become envious of people who can sleep whenever they want, and even when my friends talk about sleep...

Ok, lets now try to hit the hay.

My Definition of Love...at this point

I've realized that loving someone is not always so easy, nor is it always so loving...lol

Stupid People

You know I really don't understand stupid people.
I"ve come across a person this past week that is so stupid and ignorant and uneducated. Why do they think that they can get their way by pushing people around? This specific person for one, hides behind the computer an just spends her time typing long, harassing and threatening emails. This person thinks that by doing that they can get their way.
Now on the other end of receiving these emails, I was really stressed out and upset. But having spoken with close friends and relatives, I was actually able to scoff and giggle at this person's ridiculous and empty threats.
I know there must be some major insecurities in this dumb person. As well, as some major control freak issues. I wish I can upload at least one of her emails. ANYONE who reads it will sense the tone in the email and hear the hostility in it. And she thinks she can get her way? Ha.

In this entry. I just wanted to tell all those people who try to force their demands on others. There is a right way and wrong way to "ask".
Be polite!
Be professional!
Be respectful!

Remember, no matter what, if you are asking for something, you are the one that is persuading the other person to do you a favour. It is in the other person's right to fulfill it as they please. And if I were the other person, I'd analyze how nicely you asked for me to do it, in order for me to move my ass.

I still don't understand why people cannot just respect each other all around? If everyone were respectful to each other, things might be different. Besides you'd think that with all the things that are happening around the world, that people would have a better head on their shoulders. But instead people are just dumb. A waste of brain.

Not a Fighter!

I'm a wuss, a coward and sometimes even a scaredy-cat.
I don't if what I"m saying is actually what I want to describe. But I guess what I"m referring to is how i deal with my relationship with "the boy".

So he decides to tell me, the other day, that he expects to be in school for 4 more years~! I guess I kinda freaked out in my head a little. I just simply did not like that answer. I tell him that I cannot wait for him and kept saying that repeatedly. I mean on my end all these things came into play...ok well mainly... age. I dont want to get married looking tired and run-down, nor do I want to have children when I"m old and have a huge generation gap between me and my kids. That's what happened with me and i had a hard hard time growing up with parents who constantly don't know how to raise a child. When he told me that he wanted to continue school, I was like ok that 's good for you. But secretly I was afraid that it will be too long for me to wait and secretly I thought it was going to be 2 short years.
I hear people tell me that if u love that person it doesn't matter when you are together.

I dont know how to approach my next point, but I don't know if I want to marry this person. I am scared out of my mind when i think about being with him. I am deathly afraid that he will be cruel to me when we are under the same roof one day. I am deathly afraid of having children and me doing everything. I am deathly afraid that he will expect me to do things and for me to naturally rebel against it. And finally, I am deathly afraid that he wont be a good husband, where I can't trust him nor can I rely on him.

So on the flip side, if we were to break up, I'm not 100% sure that I will be able to find someone else. And for that time that I find someone, it may take up to 4 years anyway for things to go serious with the other person. In essence I"m right back to where I started.

Thus, it goes back to my subject to this post. My first instinct is to flee; run; jump ship. I dont want to be in this anymore because of everything that has happened. I don;t have the energy/capacity to keep fighting anymore. I'm scared of the future. I've been want to run for a long time, but i have no where to go and I find myself missing this person a lot. I find myself feeling a sense of loss..a hole. But I honesly dont know if this is love. If it is love, then it is not the love I thought I'd feel. I thought love was companionship, security, and trust.   I don't know if i have those in check. Either that, or I myself is too insecure to realize that it is in check. Maybe I"m the kind of person who needs someone to show me more of that. To have expression and to be serious.
If he's doing this 4 year school thing for the sake of our future, he is sure not expressing that to me. It just seems like he's doing this for himself and his future, but there was no mention of me in it. There are hints, but no concrete statements.

I am still a runner, coward and wuss...

Weddings, weddings and more weddings

Sheesh! EVERYONE is getting married!!!
Its the next wave. I had a bit of a break last year and half, but this year... BOOM. Literally, there is a boom in weddings. Grr...I hate when I feel like this, but I feel like getting married too! I found myself browsing through wedding dresses today. I was so tempted in buying one too! But I had to constantly remind myself that I AM NOT GETTING MARRIED. Sheesh!!! Help me. I mean if that is not bad enough, I even had a counter thought to that. I was thinking that I'll just get it now and if I ever get married I'll have a dress!!! Crazy me~!
Its funny because I'm not ready to be married. I just want to wear the dress and eat good food! I wanna go through the process of picking colour themes, bridesmaids and cake.
But afterwards, I have no interest in. LOL And most of all I don't the attention that a couple receives on that day.
I guess if you look at it closely all I really want is an extreme version of a prom.

~Sigh~

Customer Service

What I don't understand about today's service industry (esp. restaurants) is that they don't care about their customers. Day after day, time after time, I see people of all ages and ethnic backgrounds being rude to the people they serve. Why at this time of recession do people choose the only thing that keeps their customers coming? People don't buy stuff from you because your prices are so high that they feel like they want to empty their wallets on your establishment. They buy cause they have to, and they will choose ones with better service. Well, I do that. If I'm not satisfied with the service I'm receiving, I either leave immediately or just leave less tip. Yes, times are tough and they will get tougher. People like me are out there looking for places that stand out over others. Let this be a lesson to be learned. Everything is going up in prices, so if I am going to go out for a meal, I will choose the ones that show appreciation to their customers. I"m not asking for the royal treatment, but come on, just a decent "thanks" or "hi" or a smile will suffice. Is that too much to ask for?
I was with my significant other earlier today, and he was buying dinner at a Thai Express (I know, not fancy) but the girl at the register just looked at him waiting for his order, when she received it, she punched in the order and held out her hand wiggling her fingers, gesturing for the money. Kinda like the signal for "give it". I was appalled! Then on top of that she over charged him!! That was not a mistake because when he was waiting for his receipt I asked him what he ordered and she heard clearly what he told me and she double checked the receipt, but made no mention that she charged him for shrimp. That BIOTCH knew that she made a mistake and didn't tell him.
Ok, well anyway nonetheless that was only one of many situations that I had negative encounters with poor customer service. I wish store owners would realize the importance of customer service. And to train/hire their employees to draw customers in, and not to push them out the door. I will only go to places that know how to retain their customers via excellent customer service, and have good food. I hope those of you reading this will also be more wise in choosing a place to eat, drink or purchase clothing. For my last example and rant,  I have not supported Forever 21 ever since I had an employee speak to me in a very rude manner about 2 years ago. You all must be thinking, "Ok, what do you expect, they are all considered lower places to eat and shop." But I guess I always think that no matter what you do, whether you are a water specialist or a CEO of a major company, there is always room to treat people with respect and have manners when interacting with them.

Bittersweet

Last day of school = last day of programming.
So my co-worker and I decided that this last week we are going to live it up, in terms of snack for the kids. They always have something to say about snack whether it is positive or negative (mostly negative). Just because it is never what everyone likes, or mostly what everyone doesn't like.
And because so many people will be coming and going for the last week, we just thought hey, just go all out not just for the last day, but for the last week.

For the past 2 days we had of programming, the kids had:
- Grilled cheese sandwiches
- Chicken Fingers
- Mac & Cheese
- Popcorn
- Chips (2 flavours)
- Yogurt
- Graham Crackers
- Marshmallows
- Freezies
-  Juice
Plus a movie today~!

Man did I miss anything? I mean I think even in the last two weeks there were some really great buffet style snacks that were worthy of being called dinner!
Although some kids may not fully appreciate the extent of how fortunate and rich they are when it comes to having all this food, I personally was very happy being able to provide it for them. Hopefully they will appreciate it some day.

Love those kids.

Lovin' the Lee's

Lee Min Ho. Seriously I cannot get enough of this hot man! I have never seen an Asian celeb that is so good-looking! You can't see it in these pics, but he has a beautiful smile, equipped with a pair of dimples to die for~!

 He is another one whom I think is handsome! :) And same last name~! :)
You know what else is similar ~? They are born in the same year!

Eh, I know this is a weird high school crush kinda blog, but I just wanna write this blog out to express my love for both these hotties. One of whom is all mine to have and hold. The other one is totally unattainable and for the sole purpose of fantasies!                                                                              

Strange Dream

I had the strangest dream this morning.
It was a movie-like romance with an underlying theme of religion.
How strange and detailed. 
From what I remember the movie started with two children (boy & girl). My perspective was through the girl's eyes. She found herself on the streetcar heading to a destination, but she missed her stop because everyone who was getting off did not ring the bell. She she missed it and for some reason the street car encountered many detours because of construction. Oh BTW this was set in downtown Toronto. So she arrived to a place where she was familiar and decided to get off there. She stood waiting to exit in the front doors of the streetcar and there she saw a family with a boy who was older than her talking about Jesus. "Jesus is coming soon and know where he is going to arrive at and when", he said. She listened, but disagreed. So she spoke up and said, "No one knows the exact time or place that Jesus will come." With that comment said the boy and his parents looked at her with astonishment and a bit of anger.
The scene ends and opens with this little girl sitting on a pew with the boy and his family. This part was a blur. So something happened to the girl, as if she spoke out during the service and the family was very angry and pushed her away, or told her to leave the church.


Now she is older and she was waiting at the streetcar stop. This area looked a lot like Dundas & Bathurst in front of the Scadding Court Community Centre. So she is waiting for her streetcar and out of the corner of her eyes she sees this man trying to speak to people about his religion. She could not make out what he says but he was selling booklets to people for $2. It dawned on her that it was the same boy she met so long ago. She goes up to him and speaks to him. She was the only one who decides to buy one from him. She took this opportunity to speak to him what she knows about religion.


Next scene I take the perspective of the audience and sees them walking hand in hand into what turns out to be a radio station. There is where the boy tells the story of transformation and love. The two characters end up being married and the boy is shown a new light into the truth.




This dream felt so real. I woke up and thought this would be a good movie to be made. But perhaps it was already written.

My Craving!

FROZEN YOGURT!!!!
I just can't get enough of Mon berri!!
http://www.monberri.com/index.php

I have never had such an awesome frozen yogurt. I mean many places have come close and somewhat hit the awesome button for my palate. But the yogurt at this place surpasses everything in the "ice cream" category! Can I say (WOW)x10000000000?
If any one of you get the chance, you gotta stop by mon berri! I can't get enough of this place. For one thing, I crave ice creams all the time in this weather. And I always crave that when I'm working. So I think..where can I get great ice cream that just satisfies? I come up empty and cannot bring myself into buying anything because the only thing that I can think of putting in my system is Mon berri.

I'm a little embarrassed because I think the person who runs it, or the owner, knows me. LOL Sometimes I like to network with people and owners of an establishment, but for some reason, I didn't want to for this place. Perhaps, I see this place as my guilty pleasure, or that I feel like a pig when I"m seen there so often. I don't know exactly.

What I do know is that I don't know what to do if this place closes down. Its in a relatively dull location. Even though it looks like a high traffic place, not too many people hang out or seemingly go there.

Truly a diamond in the ruff indeed!!!

OK so an update on a negative part of this place.  I went by on a random afternoon and to my disappointment they were not opened!! I went by at around 1:30 but the sign says that they were suppose to be opened at 12 noon! *sigh*
That's not a good way to do business.

Parents

You know, in my profession you get to meet lots of parents and caregivers. There are many parents who are not up to par with teaching their children proper ways to socialize. And then there are some (which are a select few) that are so great at what they do.
Ironically I think that most caregivers do a better job at parenting than the parent themselves. Yes it is a sad realization for me, therefore I am debating with myself if I want to have children. I'm afraid I will turn out to be one of those parent's whom I dislike.
Here's an example: One parent stood there watching and listening to her child as this child stood there and demanded that the teacher find her hair-tie that the child lost.The parent did nothing and said nothing about the way the child spoke to the adult. The parent just said, "Come on (child's name), let's go."
Come on now folks! Who allows their child to speak to an adult like that and not say anything about it afterwards.

I've also encountered sensitive parents who feel that any type of name calling is inappropriate. When their child is upset that he/she had been called a fruit, the parent speaks as though his/her child has been blasted with the world's most severe swear word. A FRUIT!!!!!!!!! Gosh sakes, wake up!!! Your child will encounter worse things in the future than being called a fruit. You cannot always fight their battles for them, nor can you find everything little thing offensive.

*sigh*

I know I may be unprofessional when I speak of bad parenting, because I'm sure that all parents do the best they can with what they have. But its just that I also see great parents out there in which I observe and wish that I had that kind of support and love when I was growing up. And great parents are so vital in shaping your child's behaviour.

Today a parent came to pick up their child, and their child was playing a game. That parent decided to jump right in and join the fun. I watched the faces of those children who were participating and noticed that every child who was there, wished that their own parent was just as engaging. Now folks, that is a great parent. Spend time with your child! Don't just think that as long as you have their basic needs (room & board & food) covered, it doesn't mean that its enough. Its in those moments of time spent with your child(ren) is how your child learns about anything and everything.

Thought of the Day

Just came out of the shower again and again I feel compelled to write something.
I was just thinking about life and my immediate future. I don't like when I do this, but I just feel so much in despair. I feel so stuck in a my rut that I just want to give up on everything. I'm so deathly afraid that I won't find a job for the summer that my insides are shaking in stress.
Whenever I have stress, I think about it so much that I can't take it anymore and I just let it go. But letting go means to forget about it until the next time I feel the need to stress myself out again. Thus the cycle keeps going.
I really don't know what to do. I don't think the "rain" is going to let up.
The weather these past couple of days really mirror my heart. And boy does it hurt!

Blog Down

There are times where you want to write something down and there are times where you just write something for the sake of writing something. This site was down for a few days and I had something to write a few days ago.
Now I've forgotten what I wanted to write now that this site is up and working.

Oh I just remembered what I was thinking while I was in the shower.
I was thinking what I would say at my speech for my wedding reception. I've always thought of that moment as where I"ll just be as quiet as possible so that I won't make a fool out of myself.
But tonight I thought of something that I really feel I want to say to everyone attending. I would say something like this:

"I've always thought love would be an easy act to do because I feet like I have so much of it. But I soon realized that love is something that takes a lot of work and sacrifice, even if it comes naturally to you. We had a lot of obstacles in our relationship. Lots of people shaking their heads of disagreement at us; a few friends were lost along the way, and a lot of stress and inappropriate behaviours & actions from fully grown adults. For us to arrive to this point is a testament of what just a little sacrifice can result from. For those who were and still are unbelievers of our sustainability, I hope that you were not invited, but if you are here, I'd like to say that you were wrong and we have overcome your negativity.
I want to thank those of you who have supported us thus far, it is greatly appreciated and would welcome continued support in our marriage. Cause most of you out there know that marriage is a far different ballgame, but we are standing here committed to each other saying that we love each other enough to begin another chapter of our lives.
Thank you to my family and friends who have always been there for me.
Thank you all for being here to witness our love thus far,"


I've been with my boyfriend for about 3.5 years now. We have discussed about being together for the long run, but since we are not financially stable, there is no way we can get married.
I think about marriage all the time. I see most of my friends getting married and I sigh a sigh of wanting the same thing. I even witness people I know who are younger than me getting married..and I sigh a bigger sigh of wanting. I can't really say its jealousy because I am genuinely happy for them.
It would be nice to be married,but its not nice to be married without a stable job.. so I'll have to suck it up and wait.

The Interview

Oh Boy did I mess up!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm am so sad and embarrassed to be me right now. I can't believe I stumbled through such questions in which I should have learned from school!
I blanked. I completely blanked out once I heard the first question and I couldn't answer it right away or properly.
I can't believe that I did so badly. Normally, I'm so calm and cool. This time, I was nervous and brain dead!!!
I want to blame it on my period that I just got in the morning, I also want to blame my lack of readiness of the interview.
But I can't do any of that. All I can do now is just get over it.
Couldn't sleep last night also. Once I woke up,  Memories of the interview flooded my brain and I felt stupid and started  tossing and turning. I only had 5 hours of sleep.
Oh man...even if I applied for other jobs, I wonder if I will still have a reference from the big boss?

Life

I"m a thinker. I always enjoy being alone and engaging in deep thoughts. Sometimes if I don't have that alone time, I use my shower as a place of contemplation.
Recently, I've been really thinking to myself, how did I get to this point in my life? I mean, never in my childhood would I imagine myself here at this point. I don't know if society's the one to blame, but I've always thought that I'd be married by now. By now, I am suppose to have a stable job in which I've been working for years and even possibly have had a child or two. I guess all those "milestones" that I feel one should hit by a certain time, I have not. I feel like a failure. I feel like my whole adult life, things are so unstable. "I don't have a strong, stable income, therefore no funding for marriage. I don't have income, so therefore, can't afford to raise children." The future looks dim folks. With no sign of things looking up.

The more I think, the more I realize that perhaps I really can't be more successful than my parents. They immigrated to Canada a good 30+ years ago. They worked so hard to say that now, they are proud, mortgage-free owners of a home. I think as a Canadian citizen, at this rate of income, I won't be able to say that about myself.

Life and people are very interesting because for some, they would take this situation, turn it around,  and simply make things work or get through it. I'm the opposite. I'm at a standstill. I see so many obstacles and all I can do is struggle with them, instead of find ways to overcome them.

My immediate stressor right now is summer employment. Last year, for summer I was basically unemployed for 2 months. I tried to get a job but not hard enough. I relied on the wrong people for hours and ended up shafted and shut out. It was a tough 2 months. This year it seems like I"m falling into the same cycle and I'm desperately trying to find a solution.

For those who are reading this, I need some encouragement!!

A Job!!

I realized that I do need a blog of sort. Even  though I may not have much to say or even if I have poor grammar. I still feel the need to write down stuff, perhaps for my own insanity!

For my first post I"d like to address something that has been on my mind since March. I need a job. One that is either full time for the summer or just full time in general.

But my problem is that I really don't know what I want to do as a "career". I mean I love children and someone once told me that they think I am excellent with children. That I have patience for them like no other. But sometimes this profession just seems like its going no where for me. It seems like I am being road blocked. So right now I'm really discouraged.

Its not easy when I am easily discouraged..and stubborn. :)

An amazing thing happened today also, one of my kids made a card for me. And it reads, "You are the best ever you are very overwhelming (that is a good thing). Let the spring go and summer come." Oh and I cannot forget the heart in the back!! lol  :) I loved it. I"m going to put it up on my wall. :) Thank you so much for that, that child may never know, but he/she really made my day and gave this negative soul some encouragement!