Oh Boy did I mess up!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm am so sad and embarrassed to be me right now. I can't believe I stumbled through such questions in which I should have learned from school!
I blanked. I completely blanked out once I heard the first question and I couldn't answer it right away or properly.
I can't believe that I did so badly. Normally, I'm so calm and cool. This time, I was nervous and brain dead!!!
I want to blame it on my period that I just got in the morning, I also want to blame my lack of readiness of the interview.
But I can't do any of that. All I can do now is just get over it.
Couldn't sleep last night also. Once I woke up, Memories of the interview flooded my brain and I felt stupid and started tossing and turning. I only had 5 hours of sleep.
Oh man...even if I applied for other jobs, I wonder if I will still have a reference from the big boss?
Friday, April 22, 2011
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Life
I"m a thinker. I always enjoy being alone and engaging in deep thoughts. Sometimes if I don't have that alone time, I use my shower as a place of contemplation.
Recently, I've been really thinking to myself, how did I get to this point in my life? I mean, never in my childhood would I imagine myself here at this point. I don't know if society's the one to blame, but I've always thought that I'd be married by now. By now, I am suppose to have a stable job in which I've been working for years and even possibly have had a child or two. I guess all those "milestones" that I feel one should hit by a certain time, I have not. I feel like a failure. I feel like my whole adult life, things are so unstable. "I don't have a strong, stable income, therefore no funding for marriage. I don't have income, so therefore, can't afford to raise children." The future looks dim folks. With no sign of things looking up.
The more I think, the more I realize that perhaps I really can't be more successful than my parents. They immigrated to Canada a good 30+ years ago. They worked so hard to say that now, they are proud, mortgage-free owners of a home. I think as a Canadian citizen, at this rate of income, I won't be able to say that about myself.
Life and people are very interesting because for some, they would take this situation, turn it around, and simply make things work or get through it. I'm the opposite. I'm at a standstill. I see so many obstacles and all I can do is struggle with them, instead of find ways to overcome them.
My immediate stressor right now is summer employment. Last year, for summer I was basically unemployed for 2 months. I tried to get a job but not hard enough. I relied on the wrong people for hours and ended up shafted and shut out. It was a tough 2 months. This year it seems like I"m falling into the same cycle and I'm desperately trying to find a solution.
For those who are reading this, I need some encouragement!!
Recently, I've been really thinking to myself, how did I get to this point in my life? I mean, never in my childhood would I imagine myself here at this point. I don't know if society's the one to blame, but I've always thought that I'd be married by now. By now, I am suppose to have a stable job in which I've been working for years and even possibly have had a child or two. I guess all those "milestones" that I feel one should hit by a certain time, I have not. I feel like a failure. I feel like my whole adult life, things are so unstable. "I don't have a strong, stable income, therefore no funding for marriage. I don't have income, so therefore, can't afford to raise children." The future looks dim folks. With no sign of things looking up.
The more I think, the more I realize that perhaps I really can't be more successful than my parents. They immigrated to Canada a good 30+ years ago. They worked so hard to say that now, they are proud, mortgage-free owners of a home. I think as a Canadian citizen, at this rate of income, I won't be able to say that about myself.
Life and people are very interesting because for some, they would take this situation, turn it around, and simply make things work or get through it. I'm the opposite. I'm at a standstill. I see so many obstacles and all I can do is struggle with them, instead of find ways to overcome them.
My immediate stressor right now is summer employment. Last year, for summer I was basically unemployed for 2 months. I tried to get a job but not hard enough. I relied on the wrong people for hours and ended up shafted and shut out. It was a tough 2 months. This year it seems like I"m falling into the same cycle and I'm desperately trying to find a solution.
For those who are reading this, I need some encouragement!!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
A Job!!
I realized that I do need a blog of sort. Even though I may not have much to say or even if I have poor grammar. I still feel the need to write down stuff, perhaps for my own insanity!
For my first post I"d like to address something that has been on my mind since March. I need a job. One that is either full time for the summer or just full time in general.
But my problem is that I really don't know what I want to do as a "career". I mean I love children and someone once told me that they think I am excellent with children. That I have patience for them like no other. But sometimes this profession just seems like its going no where for me. It seems like I am being road blocked. So right now I'm really discouraged.
Its not easy when I am easily discouraged..and stubborn. :)
An amazing thing happened today also, one of my kids made a card for me. And it reads, "You are the best ever you are very overwhelming (that is a good thing). Let the spring go and summer come." Oh and I cannot forget the heart in the back!! lol :) I loved it. I"m going to put it up on my wall. :) Thank you so much for that, that child may never know, but he/she really made my day and gave this negative soul some encouragement!
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